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berni armstrong
Приєднався 29 сер 2010
A showcase for the songs of Berni Armstrong - largely based on material submitted to the Ukulele Underground's "Seasons" series.
As my full list of uploads is nearly 500 songs now, please check out my Playlists to see which genres of music I have written songs in.
As my full list of uploads is nearly 500 songs now, please check out my Playlists to see which genres of music I have written songs in.
The Ceiling or the Floor
The challenge here was to take the title of a song by a fellow "Seasonista" (Seasons of the Ukulele participant) and come up with a completely different song. I took a liking to Edwin's song entitled: "The Ceiling or the Floor" which was a mathematical gem of a song. But I went somewhere quite different.
LYRICS & CHORDS
(D) I got so drunk the other night
I couldn't open my front door
I (G) had to break in round the back
My (D) hand's still very sore
I (A) staggered round quite in a daze
My con(G)fusion I couldn't ignore
I (D) couldn't tell if I were walking
On the (A) ceiling (G) or the (D) floor
The (Bm) ceiling or the floor
The (D) ceiling or the floor
It's (A) time like this when I know I (D) can't take any more
The (Bm) ceiling or the floor
The (D) ceiling or the floor
You (A) know you've a problem when you can't tell
The (G) ceiling (A) from the (D) floor
(D) I bumped into some furniture
And very loudly swore
Then (G) running down the stairs there came
The (D) woman I adore
She said: (A) "What a mess you stupid fool!
You (G) look such an eyesore!
It's a (D) wonder you can even tell
The (A) ceiling (G) from the (D) floor!"
CHORUS
(D) I fell onto the couch she said
And then began to snore
The (G) neighbours called the fuzz, I learned
Who (D) asked her: "What's the score?"
They said I (A) must control the drinking
That's an (G) idea I abhor
But I'm (D) in a mess, now I can't tell
The (A) ceiling (G) from the (D) floor
CHORUS
LYRICS & CHORDS
(D) I got so drunk the other night
I couldn't open my front door
I (G) had to break in round the back
My (D) hand's still very sore
I (A) staggered round quite in a daze
My con(G)fusion I couldn't ignore
I (D) couldn't tell if I were walking
On the (A) ceiling (G) or the (D) floor
The (Bm) ceiling or the floor
The (D) ceiling or the floor
It's (A) time like this when I know I (D) can't take any more
The (Bm) ceiling or the floor
The (D) ceiling or the floor
You (A) know you've a problem when you can't tell
The (G) ceiling (A) from the (D) floor
(D) I bumped into some furniture
And very loudly swore
Then (G) running down the stairs there came
The (D) woman I adore
She said: (A) "What a mess you stupid fool!
You (G) look such an eyesore!
It's a (D) wonder you can even tell
The (A) ceiling (G) from the (D) floor!"
CHORUS
(D) I fell onto the couch she said
And then began to snore
The (G) neighbours called the fuzz, I learned
Who (D) asked her: "What's the score?"
They said I (A) must control the drinking
That's an (G) idea I abhor
But I'm (D) in a mess, now I can't tell
The (A) ceiling (G) from the (D) floor
CHORUS
Переглядів: 47
Відео
News Fit to Print
Переглядів 5014 днів тому
A counter argument to the idea that the news reflects reality. LYRICS & CHORDS (Dm) Most people just (C) want to live their (Dm) lives In (F) peace with their husbands or their (C) wives They don’t (F) seek to do harm, they pre(Dm)fer a life of calm, Never steal or ex(C)ploit a fellow (Dm) being But if you turned on the (C) television (Dm) news You’d be for(F)given if you were con(C)fused For t...
It's Coffee for Me
Переглядів 8321 день тому
A song in praise of Coffee Lyrics & Chords: Intro: (Bb) (C) (F) (Bb) The day cannot start without it It's (F) like some essential need It (C) even takes true preference (F) Over the desire to feed You can (Bb) keep your glass of water Or your (F) nice warm cup of tea The (C) only thing I need in the morning Is a (Bb) huge mug (C) of cof(F)fee (Dm) Without it I'm a zombie First (C) thing when I ...
Out of Sight Out of Mind
Переглядів 127Місяць тому
The narrator desperately wants to forget his ex-partner, but his memory (or her witchcraft 😉) won't let him LYRICS & CHORDS (note guitar shapes - but two tones lower) Intro: (F) (G) (C) (F) Out of sight, out of mind I (C) reckoned I'd left all that behind (F) Made a clean break or so I thought But my (C) thoughts in your (G) spider's (C) web are caught My thoughts in your (G) spider's web are (...
Answering the Fermi Paradox
Переглядів 97Місяць тому
A sobering song about why we may not have discovered evidence for advanced alien civilisations, despite our advances in technology. LYRICS & CHORDS: Intro: (Dm) (G) (Am) (Am) The Earth is full of remnants Of civili(Dm)zations now long gone Lofty (Am) cultures that arose and fell like (G) great Babylon From the (F) Incas to the Aztecs From (Am) Rome to Songhai (Dm) Empires that collapsed When (G...
Self Portrait of Vincent
Переглядів 43Місяць тому
Another in my ongoing series of songs created as part of my personal art appreciation project. This time it's my favourite Self Portrait of Vincent Van Gogh that I place under the microscope. LYRICS & CHORDS: (Capo 5 on Guitar. Guitar shapes on a Ukulele eg: G is C, etc. (Am) Background waves of an in(G)definite blue A (F) tsunami about to (E) crash (Am) Jaunty angled (G) old felt hat The (F) c...
Surprise Surprise
Переглядів 43Місяць тому
Based on true events (but with a fantasy ending) this tells the story of the entrapment someone dear to my heart suffered at the hands of a spider woman. The narrator is the female in question and she did actually say most of what she is reported as saying here. LYRICS & CHORDS (G) Surprise, surprise! You can't be(C)lieve your (G) eyes What an unexpected transfor(F)mati(G)on Surprise, surprise ...
I Want to be Alone
Переглядів 642 місяці тому
A song for "SOLO" week on the Seasons of the Ukulele Lyrics & CHORDS: INTRO (G) (D) (Em) (NC) I thought we were for(D)ever But I was out on a (G) loan You traded me for an(Bm)other (D) With a passion full (Em) blown When you said you were (C) leaving You hurt me to the (G) bone Now all that I can (D) say is I want to be a(Em)lone (NC) I want to be a(C)lone I want to be a(G)lone The hell with so...
Sam and Susan
Переглядів 522 місяці тому
A special song for "S" week on the Seasons of the Ukulele Forum. CHORDS: Three Chord Trick in C LYRICS: Sam saw Susan in the shower Susan saw Sam looking on Scintillating shivers surprised her Since Sam was her stepmother's son Sam stopped staring at Susan Susan started staring at Sam Suffering from shame after the shower Sexy thoughts before Susan swam Surrendering to this new passion Susan th...
More to Say
Переглядів 262 місяці тому
My narrator outlines the foolish stand he took with his girlfriend that led to their separation. Now he realises, too late, his folly. LYRICS & CHORDS INTRO: (B) (F#) (E) (B) There's a time to speak (F#) out And (E) there's a time for (B) silence A time to listen to (F#) others A (E) time for self-rel(B)iance Knowing (G#m) which one to use When the (B) opportunity a(F#)rises Means the (B) diffe...
On the Beach
Переглядів 502 місяці тому
A "grunge-like" tribute to a book and a film that had a massive impact on me as a youth and that introduced me to the city of Seattle. CHORDS: Three CHORD TRICK IN G LYRICS: Took a ride on a submarine, heading for Seattle, Maybe someone up there had survived that devastating battle There's some bizarre Morse code in the air we have been receiving But that anyone survived a nuclear attack takes ...
Catalan Towns
Переглядів 522 місяці тому
""Sometimes town names are hilarious, because their names have another meaning in your language and sometimes a direct translation into your own language brings on guffaws too. This song outlines a few of the Catalan towns whose name I (and many a tourist) find amusing. LYRICS & CHORDS (G) When you arrive in Catalonia it's often at the airport of "El Prat" (C) "El Clot" is a dimple, not a fool,...
The Last Mass Cavalry Charge
Переглядів 5533 місяці тому
The narrator is a survivor of the Battle of Alfambra (5-8th Feb. 1938) at which was witnessed the last successful mass cavalry charge in Europe. Chords Am. G F E LYRICS: I had been a groom at a stables Before I was called to war I knew what was at stake The freedom we were fighting for Our troops had retaken Teruel In a winter of bitter cold But Franco was determined It was a place we would nev...
Horsing Around
Переглядів 1343 місяці тому
A true story about my first (and only time on a horse). I must stress (in these paedophile obsessed times) that I was a very young teacher back then and the lasses in the song were not much younger than me. CHORDS- Three Chord Trick in "F" LYRICS: I'm going to tell you all a story from the days of my youth This was long, long before I got my wisdom tooth Though I've lost the photos and I can't ...
The Pigeon's Lament
Переглядів 923 місяці тому
Our pigeon narrator bewails his luck compared with his cousin the dove. LYRICS & CHORDS: (F) White bird of purity, the (Bb) symbol of (F) peace Star at celebrations in(G)volving a mass re(C)lease Of the (Bb) wings of a dove, you will (F) hear people sing But (G) all they call us pigeons is (C) "rats with wings" (Bb) Rats with wings, (F) rats with wings (Dm) Mere dirty cousins of the (C) white s...
Musik der Leute soll von der Leute besingen Sie singen sehr gut 🙏
Thankfully I’ve not been drunk since 1988, I can only echo what Del said, thanks Berni.
Thanks. I haven't been that drunk since I lived in the UK, but I know couples like my protagonists for whom it's a regular occurrence.
A great interpretation of Edwin’s song title. I think we’ve all had that experience! This is a really catchy number - thanks, Berni! And cheers!!! ;-)
Thanks Del. Happy you like it
Great song! Completely true....but many folks don't believe it.
Are you from Germany? Because your pronounciation is great! Stay splendid o7
No, I am from Ireland, but I did have a German girlfriend in my University days. And I first sang this song in a theatre show called: "An Evening with Berthold Brecht".
Wow
Glad you liked it. How did you find it?
Thanks for your commentary , Berni
I saw the title and thought that it was saying that the workers United front lied about something
@@jownadel1526 Ha ha ha!
No way 7 years ago was 2017????
Awesome! I’m not sure I’ve watched you playing a standard acoustic guitar before . Sounded beautiful. As did the language.
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. I am a bit of a proselyte when it comes to Sandy. I had tickets to see her live (for the first time) in Manchester. With just weeks to go to the dog the news broke of her death and I wept buckets 😢
Lots of truth in your song. Nice work, Berni. Great creation.
Cheers, Chris!
Thank goodness this song is a true one, although some days we might wonder. Nice to see that your shirt and ukulele are colour coordinated Bernie. Mighty fine song.
If we ahve a "human nature at all" it would manifest itself in babies and toddler that haven't been configured by parents and society. Scientific studies done with hundreds of children that young have shown that generosity, not greed is the most common trait among babies and toddlers.
So much truth here, Bernie. There's a lot of love and a bunch of decent human beings out there. Sometimes it's a bit challenging to find. But boy do we get bombarded by the outliers in the media!
Cheers, Mel. Glad you liked it.
great tune Berni....the first technique of authoritarians is to present the world as a scary place, requiring their firm hand to provide protection...alas the money based media falls directly in line promulgating that in the way they present the news!! a wonderful, but challenging subject for tunes!!
Thanks, Micheal. The second technique is to convince people that a flag is worth fighting for or worth planting on a territory long claimed by its inhabitants.
An excellent exposition. And I love the little green pineapple. Perfect for this song.
Glad you liked it, Ed. Yes, that pineapple turned up with the worst strings you could possibly imagine (it only cost about sixteen quid - what did I expect). But now it has a set of Living Waters on it and it keeps its tuning.
Great song!!
Thanks.
Great song! Sorry to hear about doctor's recommendation.
A week of decaff and the headaches have stopped. But taste and aroma are not the same 😢
Just excellent!
Excellent comment 😊
Amen, brother!
Ah... Watch till the end and weep for me😢
@@berniarmstrong😭😭😭 Man...I didn't catch the post credit scene! Sad times...
@@bobjking The saddest tune ever in the Celtic repertoire is "A Farewell to Whiskey" composed after the composer was told he would be dead if he didn't give up alcohol.
Superb,Berni!
Glad you caught up with this one.
@@berniarmstrong Me too!
So relatable! I am a confirmed addict and I know that caffeine withdrawal headache well. Delightful lyrics and performance, thank you!
Hope you had a great birthday!
It's always coffee! Thanks for the reminded. Time for a brew!! 🧟♂️
Long live the bean!
☕️☕️☕️😂
I'll raise your three coffees and add a nighttime Horlicks (if I could buy it here)
Personally, I'm not a fan of your watered-down bean juice, but I appreciate your need for caffeine! Have an excellent weekend.
I intend to do so, my band: "The Saturday Blues Project" have a gig this evening.
lovely to hear of your life's joy and woes and surprises and predictabilities through songs... maybe it's an addiction, i love a cup in the morning but can do without... good tune Berni!!
one of my coffee tunes ua-cam.com/video/LT25lUAtjG4/v-deo.html
Thanks Micheal, did you stay till the end to hear my ironic news?
no, i didn't, i cut out when you did your signature uke holding/displaying move... it's not that bad drinking decaf...i can think of worse recommendations!
i see my song recommendation got cut ...i sent my tune "i'm outta coffee" several versions available
@@michaelhermiston That has happened to me a few times. Was the link outside UA-cam? They are not keen on that.
Glory To The Working Class, For The Socialist Future . Слава Рабочему Классу , За Социалистическое Будущее . Lob an die Arbeiterklasse , Für die sozialistische Zukunft . You performed the song perfectly . Вы отлично исполнили песню . Sie haben das Lied perfekt gespielt .
love this! Not the addiction! The song, the hat and the sopranino!
Thanks, Joo.
Clever lyrics, Berni and the sopranino sounds great!
Cheers, Val
Fine song and rendition!
Thanks Ylle.
I’m not a Socialist or any of its other forms but that is very beautiful singing:)
Thanks a lot. So many people never relate the word "beautiful" with the German language. As for socialism, the totalitarian farces that claimed that title in the 20th century gave it a bad name. But the basic premise of a fair society for all is something every decent human being would surely wish for. And when you view it's opponents, like Trump, Bolsonaro, etc you see they are anything but decent people. ❤
Beautiful Song and a great sopranino
Thanks so much for the listen.
Another great song! You have a great way with words and music. Oh and... the hat!
Ah that's my St Patrick's Day special hat 😁
love the hat too. and the sopranino!
Well done Berni! On the ball as ever ..
Cheers, Jim. Pity we didn't get to meet in Eire as planned. We went to the UK in the end and met up with family and some good friends I hadn't seen in 14 years!
Kraft der Arbeiter!
o7
WEIL DU AUCH EIN ARBEITER BIST! Sehr schön 🚩✊🏻
Pretty good German pronunciation. My only critique would be that you make the last line in the chorus sound like "kein Arbeiter" (No worker) and not "ein Arbeiter" (a worker)
Thanks, I will remember that next time I sing it.
Watching this one back again with time made to comment. Super strong stuff, Berni! Love the production as well. I'm interested to see what happens in the future... or as far as I make it, at least.
Yes, it looks like we are about to experience the old Chinese curse: "May you live in interesting times!"
Powerful stuff Berni.
Thanks for giving this one a spin
beautiful playing <3 we will win!
Cool, Bernie! 👍 I fear Homo Sapiens will kill themselves off in time, and take a few thousand species with them. But regardless of their absence, Earth will abide, and will continue to be a paradise and torture chamber of pleasure and pain for its creatures for many more millions of years.
Liked the song and the visuals. Great original work.
Thanks for the listen, Chris.
when i see the crowds that attend trump rallies and see nigel farage elected to uk parliament i know there's no hope - and have a look at project 25
Yes, I am afraid that the next few months are going to put my"pathological optimism" to a severe test. 😢
That reminds me: IF Murphy's Law is applied to The Schrodinger's Cat of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle... Then the cat is dead! 😹🙀 ... Very nice song, BTW!
😂😂😂😂😢😢😢😢
Great inspiration to do a song about this self portrait of Van Gogh. ...yes, he looks sad here. Bravo Berni, well done: like 8 👍
Glad you enjoyed it.